Simon Know
by Extrememusic22
Summary: What happens when Simon Snow slips Baz Grim-Pitch a truth potion? Well, Simon Snow is about to Simon Know! (SnowBaz OF COURSE)
1. Chapter 1

"Simon, this is crazy," Penelope ran a hand threw her wild, thick dark hair, "and that's coming from me."

"It's not crazy," Simon's eyes shined with heroic intensity, "it's the most sane idea anyone has had all year."

"Slipping Baz a truth potion won't reveal him as a vampire," Penelope stood her ground, "it'll reveal you as a jerk!"

Simon just rolled his eyes. She didn't understand. She hadn't been living with Baz for five freaking years. She didn't know how horrible he could be.

"I'm doing this, with or without your help. But. . . please help me, I'm not very good at carrying on by myself." He smiled sheepishly, and reluctantly Penelope realized that she would always have her friend's back, despite how flat out crazy he was being.

"Fine." They were outside the potion's building, Simon clutching the needed truth ingredients firmly in his hands. He knew what to swipe, but cooking a concoction as powerful as the truth required precision, talent, and intelligence. It required Penelope. "but if Baz literally kills you, I'm telling the Mage it was your idea."


	2. Chapter 2

Once the potion was Penelope-perfectly made, Simon had a new problem. How was he going to get Baz to drink it? During breakfast, lunch, and dinner Baz always sat with his friends ( _cronies_ ) in the dining hall. Simon couldn't just walk up and casually spike his drink. He couldn't use magic to do it, because the fact of the matter was Simon's magic was wild, and Baz could probably smell it from a mile away. Not to mention, Simon was like 99% sure the only thing Baz actually drank was blood, and he probably wasn't drinking it from an easy to access cup.

So Simon hatched another idea. Well, Simon and Penelope hatched another idea. Well . . . Penelope hatched an idea while Simon ate a cherry scone and congratulated her brilliance.

"Hey, Baz." Simon was sitting up on his bed, golden hair still wet from the shower. "Could I ask you something?"

Baz was typing up his Magic History paper on his sleek, silver laptop. Without so much as a glance he answered, "Absolutely not. "

"When you make No Sweat potion, is it supposed to be green?"

Baz stopped typing and raised an eye brow. Simon held up a glass full of grass-colored liquid. In reality it was Truth potion with food coloring, since Penny had been certain that Baz would recognize the signature yellow color.

"Why did you make No Sweat potion?" Baz's voice was full of suspicion, racking his brain on all the ways it could possibly be used as a trap.

"I'm starting my potions project early," Simon explained, holding the glass closer to his face. "but I'm not sure if I made this right or not. It's supposed to stop you from sweating for 24 hours right?"

Baz scoffed, "First of all, this is a year three potion. And second of all, since when do you do your homework early?"

"I'm trying to actually do well this year," Simon lowered the glass and looked Baz in the eyes. "So is it supposed to green? I mean, obviously I know it's supposed to taste like mint, but-"

"What?" Baz closed his laptop, "It's supposed to taste like butter."

Simon internally smiled. If everything kept working perfectly, he'd get Baz to reveal his vampirism to the whole school before noon.

"Baz, it's supposed to taste like mint. Penelope even said-"

"Snow, Bunce is your friend, so obviously her taste is horrible. I am telling you, No Sweat tastes like butter."

Simon got off his bed and walked towards Baz. "It's mint! And unless you drink it and prove it-"

Baz sneered, "I'm not drinking anything that you've touched, it's probably poisoned or something."

"Then I'll drink it and prove it-"

He rolled his eyes, "So you can just lie and make me look the fool? Right." He snatched the cup from Simon and took a small sip.

Simon watched Baz drink apprehensively. As soon as he swallowed, Simon gave a small jump and pumped his fist into the air.

"I did it! I actually did it!" he looked like an over excited golden retriever.

Baz's eye widened and he immediately spit back into the cup, just a little too late. He furiously stood and wiped his mouth on his sleeve.

"What?! What did I just drink, you-"

"Tyrannous Basil Grimm-Pitch, are you a vampire?" Simon demanded, grinning.

Baz clenched his fists, "Yes!" Then, his eyes went wide, and his mouth clamped shut. Of course. When he drank he'd tasted cool, vanilla. That could only mean one thing; a truth potion.

Right now the only thing Simon tasted was success.


	3. Chapter 3

Baz's mind was reeling from fury to fear. Only one clear thought managed to push through- he needed to _get out of there_.

Baz spun around and burst out of their bedroom, leaving a startled Simon behind. He stormed down the stone staircase and practically ran towards the forest. Simon would be severely punished for this- just not now. Once the damned thing wore off.

" ** _Stop! Wait a minute_**!" Simon shouted the Bruno Mars lyric from the entrance of their housing, and suddenly Baz nearly fell over as his feet became glued to the ground. _Shit._

"Baz!" Simon started running towards him, and Baz clamped his mouth shut. If he were a cartoon character, steam would be rising out of his head by now. "Why are you running?"

The muscles in Baz's neck stood out as he tried to keep his mouth shut. Unfortunately, not only does the truth potion make lying impossible, but it also forces you to answer whenever questioned. "Because you gave me a fucking truth potion, and I don't want to answer your fucking questions, Snow."

Simon couldn't keep the smile off his face. Finally! He had Baz exactly where he's always dreamed. Now he could set everything right. He already confirmed that Baz was a vampire; now to get even more proof that he should be expelled, "Are you going to bite me?"

"No," Baz spat. He needed to leave. Internally he cursed and closed his eyes because he had left his stupid wand on his bedside table. Could this possibly get any worse?

Simon was surprised by his answer; extremely surprised. Maybe it was the way he worded his question. Leave it to Baz to outsmart a potion.

"Do you want to kill me?" Simon asked, even though he already knew what the answer would be.

There was a pause as Baz tried to keep his lips sealed. Exasperated, he was finally forced to answer, "No."

Simon couldn't believe his own ears. There were only two things in this world that he felt were certain; Watford was his home, and Baz wanted him dead. Something was wrong.

"Giving a Truth Potions without consent is illegal," Baz snapped, "so wipe that stupid look off your face and let me leave!"

"Why?" Simon's bright eyes met Baz's glare.

"Because I don't want you asking me questions!" Baz growled. "This is fucked up."

"No," Simon took a step closer to where Baz was standing, frozen to his spot. "I mean, why don't you want to kill me?"

Baz was internally screaming at himself, _shut up, shut up, shut up!_

"Because I like being around you!"

Baz's stomach dropped, almost as fast as Simon's mouth.


	4. Chapter 4

Simon and Baz held each other's gaze. Baz felt humiliation creeping up around him, and he wanted to scream, or run, or both. This could _not_ be happening.

Simon felt something stirring within. Thoughts of Baz's vampirism were thrown completely out the window. He couldn't stop thinking about the words. _Liked being around him. . . Liked him_.

"Let me go, or I will make your life Hell," Baz promised, glaring. "And _that_ is the truth."

"Baz," Simon said, suddenly, "do you think of me as your friend?"

Baz fought it, he really did. But eventually he was forced to unclench him jaw and blurt out, "No."

Simon was confused, again. Baz liked being around him, so they weren't enemies, but clearly they weren't friends either. What else was there?

"How do you really feel about me?"

Before Baz even took a breath, Penelope's clear voice cut through the air.

"Run freedom run!" she cast, and just like that Baz was free. He pushed past Simon and bolted for the forest. Finally.

As Simon frowned at Penelope, who started reprimanding him for rudeness, Baz kept running. Fortunately he was long out of ear shot by the time the potion forced him to answer the question that had been asked.

"I'm in love with you."


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey guys! I just wanted to say a huge thank you for all the amazing comments you've given! :) This is the last chapter! Sorry it's taken so long (blame homework)- but I hope you enjoy!**

"You know he's a vampire, now. Isn't that what you wanted?" Penelope sighed. She was laying on her stomach on Simon's bed, her feet kicking the air. Her eyes followed Simon as he paced the room.

"Yeah. Yeah, I know, but- something's wrong." Simon's eye brows were furrowed and his hands were behind his back. "I just need to talk to him some more while the potion lasts."

Penelope rolled her eyes. "You've known Baz for years Simon. You probably know him better than anyone else in the whole world."

Simon stopped pacing. "Well, that's a scary thought."

She ignored his comment, "If you were Baz, where would you go if your roommate just drugged you and exposed your greatest secret?"

His eyes lit up, "Of _course_."

The catacombs were disgusting. Simon already spent far too many nights trying to track down Baz in the dusty darkness, he really didn't want to try and find him during the day. But there was still a question he needed to ask, and if Baz really wanted to hide, this would be the place.

Simon held his torch in front of him, keeping his eyes peeled. He passed archway after archway, but didn't hear a sound.

That's when Simon noticed something he had never seen before. On the cool stone catacomb wall, there was a quote engraved, " ** _veritas liberabit vos_** ** _"_**

Simon leaned forward and hastily brushed the years of grime and dust off the words, as if that would somehow make him understand. "What does this mean?" he mumbled to himself.

Out of the darkness, Baz's forced voice responded, "It means the truth will set you free- oh, are you _fucking_ kidding me-"

Simon spun around, and turned left into a small chamber, where Baz was scowling in the corner, looking ready to bite.

"Baz," Simon felt a wave of relief. This truth potion was working out better than imagined.

"Snow," he snapped and glared to the ground. This absolutely could not end well. Simon stepped forward, blond hair looking even lighter in the glow of his torch.

"I. . . I need to know why you're so mean to me."

Baz's mouth spread into a cruel smirk. It wasn't a question. He didn't have to answer honestly. Silly Snow with his stupid grammar.

"I know," Simon continued, "I know what you're thinking. But . . . I don't want to make you answer, I just. . . I want you to want to tell me the truth. I know we don't exactly get along-" Baz scoffed. Understatement. "but, we've been roommates for five year. Crowley, I think you might owe me a bit of honesty. I've always been honest with you, probably more than I should have. You were there for, for when I was a first year who would cry after every failed test."

The chamber was dead quiet for a moment, before Baz (while definitely not smiling fondly, nope, not at all) murmured, "you did fail a lot of tests."

Simon couldn't stop a smile from slipping out, "Yeah. And- and you saw me try to charm myself a mustache after Malcom grew one when we were thirteen."

"You walked around school with a Gandalf beard for a week," Baz just had to laugh, "I'm fairly confident that everyone saw you."

Simon turned thoughtful, "Yeah but. . . you saw it close. Personal. I just think that maybe we- if you weren't so- just always-"

"Use your words, Chosen One."

The Chosen One glared, clearly exasperated. "Like _that_. I don't understand why you have to be so mean all the time."

There were a million replies swimming in Baz's mind. _Because you're a egomaniac who needs to be cut down to size. Because you're such an annoying child who doesn't have parents to discipline him. Because you make it so easy._ But none of those were the truth.

"I don't have to," Baz finally settled with. Not a full lie, just a half truth.

"Then why?" Simon pleaded, and with one interrogative sentence, all of the words were dragged out of Baz's mouth.

"Because being mean to you and making you hate me is easier than us being friends. Glares, and icy shoulders, and insults can give me something else to think about besides your kindness, and your laugh, and your body. I can try and fool myself when we're sitting at opposites ends of every classroom- but if I was _nice_ to you? If I had to talk with you and joke with you, and sit with you at lunch while you inhale those stupid scones- I'd go out of my mind! Every smile in my direction would just tear me apart inside, because you're like this beautiful, perfect thing that I can never, ever hold so yeah, forgive me for wanting to keep my fucking distance-"

Baz could've gone on. He could've written paragraphs about the benefits of staying away from Simon Snow- novels. Baz could've stood in that small, dirty room in that dark, dreary catacomb for days and rambled on about why being mean to Simon was the only solution.

But he didn't get a chance.

Because Simon had all at once closed the distance between them, landing his mouth on his, cutting Baz off mid-rant.

They were kissing. It was the single greatest moment in Baz's life.

And that was the truth.


End file.
